They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize