I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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