haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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