Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
