come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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