So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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