Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
