he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
