I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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