The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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