Me too!
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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