He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
