At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
