Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
