Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
