ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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