how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
