Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
