I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She told me I should be a condom model.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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