Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
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