Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
