haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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