People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
