It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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