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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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