Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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