You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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