I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
