I'm drive I can fine osifer
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
