escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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