Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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