so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
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This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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