thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Come see our sink grown plant.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
