Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
