Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
