Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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