He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
