farters have to be the big spoon...
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
