just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
and she was petting her beer can
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I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
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Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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