My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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