I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
