Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize