he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I met the friendliest cop last night
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
