if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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