Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
