I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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