So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
