can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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