worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize