I wanna bring you to show and tell
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
