my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
