He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
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The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
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This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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