i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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