dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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