So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
