i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Drunk is not a location!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
