well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
