Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
