So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Those nachos came to me in a dream
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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