would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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