how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
