i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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