I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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